Most people, even non-Manga fans, have heard of Sailor Moon. However, my favorite character in the series is Sailor Mercury. She is someone many shy introverts can relate to. If you have also suffered from shyness, you might see a reflection of your own journey from resisting to embracing shyness in her character. She is a model of self-acceptance. It’s surprising to some that Sailor Mercury, or Amy Anderson as she’s known outside of her sailor persona, ranks among the most popular characters in the Sailor Moon series.
Amy is a shy, introverted girl who would rather be immersed in her books than be part of a large group. Before joining the sailor team, she struggled to make friends. Suffering from shyness is a too common experience for many, and overcoming introversion can be challenging.
But by embracing shyness instead of resisting it, we can overcome a lot of our fear. We welcome self-acceptance instead of judgment. We can also push ourselves to be more out there and try something that we are afraid of.
Finding Inspiration When You Don’t Know What to Draw
Art can be a powerful tool for reducing anxiety, so I try to engage in some form of artistic expression daily, even when unsure of what to create. For example, the painting of Sailor Mercury began as a simple warm-up sketch that I especially liked.
As I continued to develop the drawing into a half-length portrait, the idea of depicting her in a sailor dress emerged. So naturally, searching for images of women in sailor dresses led to many Sailor Moon character photos. While I didn’t give her the typical oversized anime eyes, I did my best to capture the authenticity of her hair and costume.
Embracing Shyness in a World that Celebrates Extroverts
If you look up shyness online, you’ll find many quick tips and tricks for overcoming it. In an extroverted country like America, it’s considered a negative trait to be eliminated. Despite this, I cherish my quiet friends and would much rather spend an evening at home with a book than attend a party. The mere thought of mingling can trigger social anxiety for me.
While I’ve pushed myself to face uncomfortable situations, such as taking a college speech class, auditioning for a play (and unexpectedly landing the lead role!), or requesting to back up the receptionist at my office job, I’ve never entirely overcome my shyness.
However, I’ve surprised many people by appearing confident in social situations. I often experience significant anxiety before attending an event, but once I’m there, I can easily carry on a conversation. One significant distinction stands out when examining the difference between shyness and introversion: fear.
Shy individuals tend to be overly critical of themselves and fear negative judgment from others. This fear can hinder the formation of close friendships and, with constant stress hormones at play, may lead to health problems. As an introvert who has mostly overcome my shyness, I still prefer solitude, the company of my family, or a small group of friends over larger gatherings. The fear that once gripped me has mostly dissipated when interacting with strangers.
Despite this progress, I enjoy quiet moments at home or in nature. I would be miserable if I were forced to constantly engage with strangers, accept speaking engagements, or attend large parties. Overcoming shyness does not necessarily mean becoming an extrovert or completely changing your personality. It simply means shedding fear and becoming more comfortable with who you are.
How Schools Reinforced Our Shyness
If you are or were a shy person, you may remember many incidents in school of being picked on. Shyness and introversion are like a beacon for bullies.
Whether we come across as socially awkward, or just quiet, bullies honed in on our energy, and saw us as an easy target. They knew it was less likely we would fight back. They used our embarrassment of suddenly having attention turned on us to boost their own social status.
Or maybe we got brave and approached someone at a party and were rejected. It’s easier for a non-shy extrovert to blow off a rejection than someone who is shy, especially after we put so much more effort into the encounter.
The non-shy extrovert just moves on to approach someone else, while we shy people look for someplace to sit alone without looking awkward.
5 Steps to Self Acceptance
- Embracing shyness means accepting yourself as you are now. We are all our own harshest critics, especially when feeling shy. Recognize that it’s okay to have situational shyness.
- Stop defining yourself by your shyness. Many people experience nervousness in certain situations, but not all would describe themselves as shy. With practice, even those who shake while giving a speech can overcome their fear.
- Tackle your fears incrementally. List the things that make you nervous. Work on one per week. Start with small talk or compliments, and don’t pressure yourself to have lengthy conversations.
- Learn to accept occasional rejection and move on. Occasionally, when you try to start a conversation, you receive unkindness or disinterest. Let it go.
- Practice makes perfect. By repeatedly facing your fears, you can overcome them.
When I worked in the corporate office of a manufacture, the office manager decided my department needed to help cover the phone at the front desk on the receptionist’s lunch and breaks.
Everyone hated this idea except me. As I told my manager, “Sitting at the front desk seems the scariest job in the company to me. I want to get over that fear.” After a bit, I got my chance to sit at the front desk. Alisia, our receptionist, trained me on how to answer the phone and stayed around until I was comfortable sitting there. I discovered it was pretty easy. Most of the time, I just had to forward the call or answer simple questions.
None of my co-workers wanted to take their shifts because they all probably secretely feared sitting at the front desk too. So pretty soon, I was covering all their shifts for them. They thought I granted them a great favor when actually I got out of the work piled up in my cubicle. While they entered my invoices for me, I enjoyed a lovely time sitting at the reception desk where the wasn’t much to do, waiting for the phone to ring and sipping my cup of tea. Win-win!
How Embracing Shyness Allows One to Release Fear
Shyness may always play a part in your life. That’s why it is better to embrace rather than resist it. My aunt and mother, both sales professionals, admitted to being shy throughout their lives. Yet, this didn’t prevent my aunt from running a successful dress shop, attending fashion shows, or going on buying trips.
Remind yourself it’s okay to be shy and that you may never completely overcome it. Focus on conquering your fears, not on becoming an extrovert if it’s not in your nature. Embrace your affinity for quiet people, like Sailor Mercury, who are unafraid to speak up when they have something important to share.
If you want to learn more, The Shyness Institute in Berkely California has an excellent reading list with not only books on shyness, but also introversion and self-acceptance..